Importance of Catching Up

Velo Rouge's warm Breakfast Croissant served with fresh fruits. This at 10:30am is heaven.

Last Wednesday, I met up with my friend Aileen, former USF classmate and contributing writer to 12ftdwende.com at SF's Velo Rouge Cafe. You can also find her blog Deep Fried Funk in the blog world. She wanted to have a "creative catch up" session and because it's always good to see friends, there's definitely time to make it possible.

This blog post is merely a reflection of why I feel it's important to keep in touch with friends. Before I get into the "why," I've listed some "rules" about catching up so continue to read if you're interested:

First off, it needs to be genuine: Everyone needs help in their life and we're bound to ask another friend for help. Yet, to catch up with someone to ease your way into their graces in order to ask them a favor is not a genuine move. Relationships cannot exist because it is just beneficial to another person. Instead, relationships exist because both people can enjoy each other's company and are really interested in each other's life, and their endeavors.

To catch up means to ask questions: The reason why you're meeting up for food and/or coffee is because you want to know what's going on with your friend's life. This is especially easy if it's a one-on-one meeting since all your attention is directed to the person you're sharing a few bites with. Ask what s/he has been up to since the last time you saw her/him; ask if s/he has ate at a nice restaurant lately or anything else that s/he can enlighten you with. When it's your turn, your friend will ask these questions.

Share resources: If you're meeting up with someone and it has been awhile, chances are you've seen/talked to this person quite a few times in the past and so you do have an idea of who s/he is. Because you have a basic understanding of who and what this person is, you should be able to pitch some resources that s/he may be interested in. For example, Aileen mentioned how she wanted to be better in networking, so I told her about the books I've read that may help her: Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty by Harvey Mackay and books by Seth Godin were my top recommendations for her. Maybe it was a documentary you saw or an article you came across in the news that may be related to what s/he does...point is, make whatever you've come across recently that reminded you of your friend known. These resources you've found may be useful for your friend now or in the near future.

To catch up means to listen: I already mentioned that you should ask questions but sometimes, the tendency is to direct the other person's reply back to you. "Oh yea! That reminded me of one time when I...." or "Yeah, when I watched that movie, I definitely had a good time. My favorite part was..." You asked the question, so listen to their answers first and let them finish their thoughts.

Make it a routine: After catching up with your buddy, immediately schedule your next catch up session. If yall can't meet up again in person, make a note to email that person or an old-fashioned phone call. Let the other person know too when you'll want to talk again and s/he will be ready to update you accordingly.

Now you're waiting to know "Why is it important to catch up?" Here's my analogy:

We are all spiders. Yes those creatures with 8 legs who spin webs. And the key here is that spiders spin webs. From my experience of finding spiders, they have all been independent living--no one but themselves and their web.

We humans on the other hand, are social creatures dependent on our interactions for practically everything--food, entertainment, love, etc. Yet, we drive ourselves independently--we choose to do what we want to do because we can.

Relating ourselves to being spiders and spinning webs, we all need to construct this web. It's vital that we make a big strong web, aka our network, in order to survive in this world as well. If you ever watch a spider construct a web, he has to go around and create each web link one by one. If one web link is weak, then the entire web is weak as it can collapse when the flying prey gets caught. Just like us, we need to make our links strong and reliable. And just like the web, all the links are connected.

I've learned recently the importance of networking as it can get you really far [number one marketing tool is word of mouth and that's not possible if you're not part of a network]. In my opinion, a genuine network is not just accomplished by merely knowing a person of importance or who is connected to other people. It needs to be nourished, cultivated, and repaired one link at a time just like a web is constructed. Should your links get neglected, take time to revisit it and do whatever you can to refresh it.

What a Mango Taught Me

Here's a short story my mom shared while eating fresh mangoes for dessert after lunch the other day.

While eating the scored mango halves with spoons, my mom begins her story.

"You know when I was little, your lola [grandmother] would cut these mangoes and we would all fight for the halves." My mom is referring to her 9 brothers and sisters--a scene of chaos I can imagine as endless hands fight for the delicious fruit in the hot Philippine weather.

"Because she knew that we all wanted the halves and not the center with the bone [seed], what she did was cut the mango so that more of the fruit was on the bone." She continues, "The halves we usually wanted were so thin that we now wanted the bone since it had most of the fruit."

I sat there, eating my half of the mango and gestured for her to take the bone [seed]. I never wanted that part since I was little because I knew there wasn't as much fruit there. Now if my mom cut it up so that more of the fruit is now on the bone, then I'd think different and fight for that bone as my mom's brothers and sister would.

A fan of Seth Godin's blog, this short story resonated with me a lot because of how business-minded I've become. In short, how do you make something undesired desirable? That is the million-dollar question for any businessman.

Respect Time

I felt the urge to write this after having the afternoon to just rest [and watch the Giants game finished strong against the Braves going 4-0! woo hoo!] after being disappointed on how today unfolded.

Basically, I had a photoshoot scheduled today in San Francisco and if you'd like to stop reading from here, just know that there was no photoshoot at the end of the day.

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If you're still here and wondering what my blog's title has to do with anything then read on. If you've followed my "What I've Learned in Nursing" blog posts, then this is somewhere in the lines of "Time Keeper"--my first ever post of that blog reel. As a forewarning, this blog posts will be a reiteration of "Time Keeper" but catered more to doing [photography-related] work.

I titled this post as general statement. I'm not just talking about my time that is to be respected but also to really just respect time: his/her time, your _fill in the blank___'s time, nature's time, and even God's time.

When it comes to anything, I don't like things being wasted. A little soap left in the tube? I'll cut it in half so I can scrape the last bit of it [that's a tip for you just in case =)]. Food to be left at the restaurant? I'll ask for a to-go box or just eat it on the spot [my girlfriend and I coined it "Garbage Time" to pick up the leftovers of her plate and/or family member's plates hahah]. But yes, nothing to waste.

So when it comes to time, that's probably the most I hate being wasted. I try to stay positive and prevent myself from saying "If I only knew, I could be doing _______." The reason why I prevent myself from saying that is because that prevents me from just living in the moment and taking in what really is in front of me and seeing the upside of things as much as I can.

Today was more than just a drive and hauling equipment up a hill in San Francisco. It was contacting a rep and manager back in forth in emails, my friends who also took their time to help assist me, time to make a photo treatment detailing a schedule [even with directions from their hotel to the location!], and scouting this location the previous day to ensure a location is ideal and just really pray for good weather for the day of the shoot.

As someone who's trying to go far with photography/arts, I really take in the mantra of "Live your day as if it's your last" and apply it to myself as "Complete your next assignment as if it's your last." So that means I'll go big with my efforts so I can go home happy with no regrets.

Regarding today, I arrive as scheduled [and agreed upon] which was 1pm even though they called around 11am to reschedule to 1pm. Meaning, I woke up 9am to double check equipment, load all equipment, drive to location, unload, assemble equipment--and that's all by 12:45pm. With everything ready, we wait.

Call and texts back and forth and no show by 1:25pm. I tell my crew 1:30pm hits we'll go. But in my heart I want this to work so I wait as I contact them until 1:50pm I give up and decide to go. So we pack up and jet.

On the way down, I finally see them but in my opinion, I've been ready for 2.5 hours and so I had to explain on my way out it wouldn't work out and apologize for the missed opportunity.

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What I learned in all this is RESPECT TIME. I for sure will know in the future to not be late in meetings [and if I am, let them know ahead of time and if I say I'll show up in 15 minutes, I'll be there in 14 minutes]. In this case, I felt that the client should be able to respect my time as well and should have shown up in time after having to reschedule already once. Not just respect my time but my friends as assistants as well.

And oh, I also learned to respect the city's time: I got a friggin' street cleaning parket ticket. hahah Sigh.

So the upside from this? Well, we got to breathe fresh air and have a mini shoot [next post I'll put up results].

7 Secrets to Closing Better Projects -- Faster By Ed Gandia

The following piece I received in an email newsletter after ordering Ed Gandia's book The Wealthy Freelancer. Can't wait to receive my copy in mail!

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What do you do when a potential client calls you about a project
opportunity? Do you know what questions to ask...and in what order? Do
you know what "next steps" you'll suggest based on the information you
gather?

OK...so developing a sales process is not the most exciting activity in
the world. But somewhere during my 11 years in sales, I came to the
realization that even a mediocre process beats no process at all.

In fact, following a well-defined process can not only help you
improve your sales effectiveness as a freelance professional, but it
can also help you stay relaxed, boost your confidence and save you a
great deal of time and effort.

The specific sales process you use should obviously depend on your
specific profession, the type of work you do and the kind of clients
you go after. But at a minimum, it should follow these simple
guidelines:

#1: Take Control
As the service provider, you need to take charge of the initial
conversation with the prospect. You're the expert. You know what
questions you must have answered. If you let the prospect take
complete control, you probably won't be able to gather all the needed
information. Or you might find yourself sharing ideas, references and
too many work samples prematurely.

#2: Determine the Problem to Be Solved
Find out what problem they're trying to solve, especially if the scope
of work is unclear. A simple "What do you need help with?" is often a
good conversation starter. Walk away from that first conversation with
something tangible.

#3: Learn More About the Prospective Client
Ask a few questions to help you determine what type of prospect you're
dealing with. One of the first questions I always ask is "How did you
find out about me?" That's because someone who came via client
referral is very different from someone who found me through a Google
search.

#4: Learn More About the Work
Next, you need to learn more about the project or work to be done. You
don't need to know every single detail...at least not yet. Just enough
to help you put a proposal together. The more detailed questions
should be saved for a future conversation -- once you land the work.

#5: Check for Budget
As many of you know, I'm a proponent of bringing up the issue of fees
early on. Why? Because the time to find out that this is NOT a good
prospect (from a budget perspective) is now -- not after you've spent 1
or 2 (or more!) hours putting a proposal together.

I'm not suggesting you should quote an exact fee at this point;
providing the prospect with an approximate range will often do the
trick.

#6: Avoid Jumping Through Hoops
At the same time, you should try to limit the amount of work and
information you provide until you know you have a qualified prospect,
a good potential fit and strong commitment that you're their top
choice (or at least on the short list, if there is one). In other
words, referrals, detailed samples, concepts and the like should all
wait until you're closer to striking a deal. They should rarely be
part of that first conversation.

#7: Ask for the Work
Never be afraid to ask for the work. I call prospects just a few hours
after emailing my proposal. I flat out ask if we can get started. And
if you're in a situation where a committee will be making the
decision, always ask when that decision will be made. When that day
comes, call to ask for the work.

Whatever you do, don't "wing it." Develop a good process and put it
down on paper. Continue to refine it as you learn what works well and
what doesn't.

--
Ed Gandia is the co-founder of TheWealthyFreelancer.com and
co-author of The Wealthy Freelancer: 12 Secrets to a Great Income and
an Enviable Lifestyle. To download 3 free chapters of his book, visit
www.TheWealthyFreelancer.com.