WILIN: You Fail When You Quit

You Fail When You Quit

Finally! I exhaled when I saw this part of the screen approximately 11:45am. I thought it be most fitting to describe probably the most frustrating era of my life to conclude my nursing student for good and share what I've learned from it all.

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For any visitor here who doesn't know me, I'm JJ and yes I [officially] graduated from the School of Nursing at University of San Francisco. And for those who know me and still don't even know my first name, it really is Jasef [pronounced Jah-Sehf]. This test is THE test I struggled with. It's called the HESI exit exam [stands for Health Education Systems, Inc]--basically a standardized test for nursing students in which we take at least 3 of them and then the final exit exam in which you need to pass at least 78% for USF to graduate and leave school behind.

I'm not going to lie and will flat out say I took this test SIX (6) TIMES. I'm not going to mention though how much each test costs =( haha... Nevertheless, I'm glad it's behind me but I will never forget what I really learned.

I'm sure everyone knows by now that not everything will go your way exactly as you planned. If you haven't experienced it yet, you will for sure. There will be times when you feel that you've done your all and still you're not getting what you expected or planned for. There will be people out there who will cross their arms and simply say "No." There will be times when you're just denied by the situation, time, or a "higher being" if you believe in one. It flat out sucks in simpler terms. When you want something so bad--literally within your reach--and you just can't get it, it's frustrating to say the least. [Remember that time you walked down the toy aisle with your parents and found the toy you wanted and held it and hugged and refused to give it up... even bargained that it will serve as your birthday and Christmas gift to only have to leave it back in the toy aisle?? Yes, that's how much you want it and yes that's how I use to bargain with my mom].

Get enough of these denials in life and it will break you. I don't care how man of a man you are or how tough you claim you are, when you are passionate of something and/or believe in something so bad that it doesn't come true or go your way, you will break down. For me, I cried. I cried when I didn't pass the third time when I realized I would have to stay another semester in school in order to retake the exam(s) until I passed. Yet, I looked forward and saw what I needed to do.

I studied, didn't pass, so I changed up my studying habits. Ok didn't work again--changed my habits again. And yet still didn't work. I don't remember how many times I cursed to myself as this process repeated itself over. To top it off, I felt that I owed this passing of this exam to my family and girlfriend who really believed in me as well [so yes, there's the added pressure I put on myself].

Fast forward to today after I promised to myself I'd pass and an anxiety filled morning and 4 runs to the bathroom during the exam to pee because of a needed Red Bull after waking up at 5am and sleeping 12:30am, I did it. Not to mention repeated cursing to myself and saying in my head "SHOW UP!" and shadow boxing and jumping in the bathroom to get the blood circulating. haha

As for the title for this entry, there are exceptions. When you quit something that doesn't interest you any more or doesn't benefit you any longer, you did not fail. [i.e. quitting smoking, quitting to learn piano because you no longer like it, etc]. I'm talking about when you quit trying to do what you want in your life, then ultimately it is failure. This is of course in my opinion.

In a way, I've learned that you will be denied someway or the other if you want something to happen or want something in general for yourself. I've learned that these are only hurdles and are not roadblocks. The world [and/or God] is testing you--trying to see how bad you want it. You attempt to go over that hurdle and even if you trip or stumble on it, you pick yourself up, patch up your cuts and continue the run to the next hurdle.

[Side note: finding a job? That's another hurdle for me after I pass my NCLEX-RN boards which is also another hurdle =) ]

You may even veer to an intersection and find yourself lost. I certainly did as I doubted myself while studying if this is suppose to be for me and all that negative stuff. But after you cleared your mind of the negative thoughts, it should be time for you to see that map and find yourself back on that correct road. If you want it that bad that is, you'll even force yourself back on that road to your passion or want.

While obtaining what you want can be self driven, it is rarely that case. With that being said, I will thank a few people here who helped guide me back to that road and helped pick me up when I fell [repeatedly].

To my family: I thank you for the continued support and prayers. You never stopped believing in me. And thanks bro [Kuya Den] for always putting things in perspective: "This test is nothing compared to the rest of your life..."

To my friends: thank you for being there for me and offering the encouragement and study tips. To my USF friends, thank you for literally being there for me. =)

To my teacher Dr. Higgins: thank you for being patient with me throughout two semesters haha! I appreciate your will and confidence in me to overcome this.

To my girlfriend, Cher: thank you for being there when I cried and basically broke down. Thanks for being hard on me to be resilient to study and pass.

And finally to my Mom: thanks for your never-ending love and support. I appreciate the times when you chose not to get mad at me for the inability to pass but instead kept pushing me to just study and work even harder.

Thank you all again! For anyone reading this who just stumbled on a hurdle and is having a hard time, don't quit. You know what you want is within reach, so stick with it and keep your eyes on the prize. Do it long enough, and you'll get to it no matter what. Scratch that: Make sure you'll get it no matter what. Keep strong, be strong.


At my computer on day of test (left to right): ear plugs in 35mm film container, name placeholder I got when I covered an event to remember who I am, a note I had my mom write on a Post-It, a love poem my girlfriend wrote from Rumi from a Valentine's gift, and finally the big eraser I've used in ALL my tests since 8th grade through high school and now all my nursing tests at USF. The script says "Good Luck at SI! [St. Ignatius]" by my best friend at the time Herissa.

--
WILIN "What I've Learned in Nursing" is a new blog reel that takes bits and pieces from what I've learned as a nursing student at University of San Francisco (c/o Fall 2009) and apply it to the rest of the real world. It is my attempt now to "combine" photography and nursing as many people have suggested who know I am conflicted with nursing and photography as a job/career.

What I've Learned In Nursing: Show Up

Show Up

"Does the professor take attendance?"
"I don't think so..."
"OK, good! I'll just be back next week then. I gotta do something anyways."

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We all nursing students asked this question to our friends or have been asked of this I'm sure sometime in our college nursing classroom life. Some day or another, you'll find yourself bored or unwilling to go to class since "She just goes over what I read last night" or "The PowerPoint slides will suffice."

I've done it. I've skipped classes.

And then I've regretted it.

What I've learned is that showing up to class is far more than showing up for a course you've enrolled in. When you attend class, you do justice to the tuition you paid and the money is costs per unit. When you attend class, you pay respect to the professor by being present and ready to learn. When you attend class, you attend a community of students eager as you to learn (or sleep or eat since you skipped breakfast). When you attend class, you meet with friends (and those you do not like) and share a commonality of sitting and listening. When you attend class, you simply show up.

In regards to life, showing up is big. It's not just being on time, watching a dance performance of a friend to show support, or going to an opera house that you don't like but for your significant other you will [or have to]. Yes, that is part of showing up but is not the most important.

Showing up does not only mean physically being there; more importantly it is your mentality showing up.

What matters is not how you look like when you show up (it's OK to look sleepy or if you forgot to shave this morning), but how you are when you show up.

Here are a few guidelines I've followed and I hope you adopt some or even make your own set for Showing Up.

Showing Up: The Guidelines:

1. Showing Up = Being Present.
Be on time [or even early]. Show support. Be there for others without them asking for you. Be present because you care. Be present even if you don't care because it matters.


2. Leave Your Ego Out the Door Before Entering.
Be respectful of those present around you. You are showing up for something or someone; not yourself! Everyone can be selfish but for at least a moment try not thinking of what you will gain from being there. Enjoy the moment.

3. Put A Smile On
Studies show that if you smile [despite feeling crappy], your mood will elevate. Even if you don't want to be there, don't show with your body language of slump shoulders and a sulking attitude. That will surely deflate the moods of others. Instead, mask those negative signs by smiling and showing gratitude to the simple fact of being somewhere and not nowhere.

Plus, you don't want to be known as the one who injects negative vibes or brings the party down. Join others and have fun already.

4. Think Positive. Be Positive.
It's not about why you showed up; it's about how you are when you show up. No one will know that you got a flat tire going here. No one will know that you just failed an exam yesterday. No one will know that you lost $20 to some stupid 3 cups and a ball street gamble on a MUNI bus (that happened to me Freshman year...damnit). Of course, no one will know any of this even unless you told them.

All that matters immediately to the receiving people around you is how you are when you show up because that's the first thing they'll know immediately. Be positive and they too will greet you with positive vibes. Showing up and immediately talking about how that stupid flat tire ruined the day and well you'll receive "Oh I'm sorry!" and all but...that's probably it.

Even if you do share the bad news with people....


5. Laugh It Off!
Humor I think is one of the best gifts that we are given that doesn't require classes to take or money to buy. Learn how to use humor. Learn how to embrace it and receive it. Learn how to give it. Learn how to to laugh at yourself!


I hope you enjoy this post and next time, Show Up for sure. Take care.

--
WILIN "What I've Learned in Nursing" is a new blog reel that takes bits and pieces from what I've learned as a nursing student at University of San Francisco (c/o Fall 2009) and apply it to the rest of the real world. It is my attempt now to "combine" photography and nursing as many people have suggested who know I am conflicted with nursing and photography as a job/career.

What I've Learned in Nursing: The 5 Rights

This was originally scheduled to be published in November 18, 2009 but have only only recently finished and published it. Enjoy!
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The 5 Rights

In nursing, part of the care is medication administration. In order to be safe, we were taught in the very beginning when our clinicals started about "The 5 Rights." These rights were: right medication, right dose, right time, right patient, right route. The order didn't matter too much but just as long as you, the nursing student, checked these "rights" prior to giving the medication.

Like in all things in nursing, it is very important to put the patient's safety as the priority. If I were to give a patient too much of a drug [or too little], or too soon [or too late], or to the wrong patient and/or route, well things can go very wrong.

These 5 Rights have been ingrained ever since in order to make sure what we give to patients as nurses are 100% correct. Yes, no room for error and I totally agree.

To tie this to the "other side of the road"--life outside of nursing--I'd still say we have a certain "5 Rights" to abide to. For me, the equivalent to the nurse's 5 Rights [of drug administration] would be the right who, right what, right where, right when, and why.

I'll refer to these "other side of the road" 5 rights as life's general's rights because the 5 W's can be applied to practically everything. But to give an example, I'll apply it to one self's being.

WHO

Who you are as a person greatly affects the people and situation around you. When you're attitude is unfitting, people just don't want to be there with you. Being positive is hard in all situations, but never stop trying. If you're a good at anything [even just being a good person in general], like what my good friend Lauren says, "Let it be known."

WHAT
What you do is always important--big or small. In Paul Arden's book Whatever You Think, Think The Opposite, there is a part that describes a street sweeper. "He wasn't just a street sweeper; he was the best street sweeper."

WHERE
I remember Brother Draper, the dean of students at my high school, always gave his speech on how students get in trouble in the beginning of the year. He'd say, "Wrong place, wrong time." Sometimes you can control the situation and change it and other times where you are is out of control. How you respond to either situations will be the result of who you are and what you can do.

WHEN
Timing is everything. If you're late for a meeting [with anyone], what does that say about you? When you remember to call a friend for her birthday, surely you are to be remembered for that gesture. Why are you saving that unused _____ [fill in the blank i.e. tshirt, box of pens, candle, etc], what are you saving it for?

To quote a good movie of mine, Kung Fu Panda:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present." - Oogway

Timing is everything, so make it count.

WHY
My favorite word that in itself is a question. Asking "why?" can only bring answers to curiosity and solutions to problems [and annoyance if asked too much... remember asking this repeatedly as a kid?]

To understand is to question. To question is to find an answer. To find an answer is to ask again "why?" until it can no longer be explained.

I want to be a great photographer.
Why?
I love producing creative images and would want to do it for a living.
Why?
Being paid to be creative would be a dream.
Why?
To face reality of working on a schedule would not seem so fun.
Why?
Because I want time in my life to enjoy it and spend it with the people around me.
Why?
Because I find happiness in the people around me.
Why?
Being successful is nothing if you can't share it with anyone.

OK, you get the picture. Asking why can reveal many things even if you weren't set out to find that particular answer. [This short exercise for me at 2am was answered without plan].

--
WILIN "What I've Learned in Nursing" is a new blog reel that takes bits and pieces from what I've learned as a nursing student at University of San Francisco (c/o Fall 2009) and apply it to the rest of the real world. It is my attempt now to "combine" photography and nursing as many people have suggested who know I am conflicted with nursing and photography as a job/career.

What I've Learned In Nursing: "The 5 Rights"

The 5 Rights

In nursing, part of the care is medication administration. In order to be safe, we were taught in the very beginning when our clinicals started about "The 5 Rights." These rights were: right medication, right dose, right time, right patient, right route. The order didn't matter too much but just as long as you, the nursing student, checked these "rights" prior to giving the medication.

Like in all things in nursing, it is very important to put the patient's safety as the priority. If I were to give a patient too much of a drug [or too little], or too soon [or too late], or to the wrong patient and/or route, well things can go very wrong.

These 5 Rights have been ingrained ever since in order to make sure what we give to patients as nurses are 100% correct. Yes, no room for error and I totally agree.

To tie this to the "other side of the road"--life outside of nursing--I'd still say we have a certain "5 Rights" to abide to. For me, the equivalent to the nurse's 5 Rights [of drug administration] would be the right who, right what, right where, right when, and why.

I'll refer to these "other side of the road" 5 rights as life's general's rights because the 5 W's can be applied to practically everything. But to give an example, I'll apply it to one self's being.

WHO

Who you are as a person greatly affects the people and situation around you. When you're attitude is unfitting, people just don't want to be there with you. Being positive is hard in all situations, but never stop trying. If you're a good at anything [even just being a good person in general], like what my good friend Lauren says, "Let it be known."

WHAT
What you do is always important--big or small. In Paul Arden's book Whatever You Think, Think The Opposite, there is a part that describes a street sweeper. "He wasn't just a street sweeper; he was the best street sweeper."

WHERE
I remember Brother Draper, the dean of students at my high school, always gave his speech on how students get in trouble in the beginning of the year. He'd say, "Wrong place, wrong time." Sometimes you can control the situation and change it and other times where you are is out of control. How you respond to either situations will be the result of who you are and what you can do.

WHEN
Timing is everything. If you're late for a meeting [with anyone], what does that say about you? When you remember to call a friend for her birthday, surely you are to be remembered for that gesture. Why are you saving that unused _____ [fill in the blank i.e. tshirt, box of pens, candle, etc], what are you saving it for?

To quote a good movie of mine, Kung Fu Panda:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present." - Oogway

Timing is everything, so make it count.

WHY
My favorite word that in itself is a question. Asking "why?" can only bring answers to curiosity and solutions to problems [and annoyance if asked to much... remember asking this repeatedly as a kid?]

To understand is to question. To question is to find an answer. To find an answer is to ask again "why?" until it can no longer be explained.

I want to be a great photographer.
Why?
I love producing creative images and would want to do it for a living.
Why?
Being paid to be creative would be a dream.
Why?
To face reality of working on a schedule would not seem so fun.
Why?
Because I want time in my life to enjoy it and spend it with the people around me.
Why?
Because I find happiness in the people around me.
Why?
Being successful is nothing if you can't share it with anyone.

OK, you get the picture. Asking why can reveal many things even if you weren't set out to find that particular answer. [This short exercise for me at 2am was answered without plan].

--
WILIN "What I've Learned in Nursing" is a new blog reel that takes bits and pieces from what I've learned as a nursing student at University of San Francisco (c/o Fall 2009) and apply it to the rest of the real world. It is my attempt now to "combine" photography and nursing as many people have suggested who know I am conflicted with nursing and photography as a job/career.

What I've Learned In Nursing: "Time Keeper"

photo of my current favorite watch made by Swiss.

This marks my first posting for my new blog reel [in addition to Abbot and East Moltke and ADLs] entitled "What I've Learned in Nursing"--for short: WILIN.

This new series is to take bits and pieces from what I've learned as a nursing student at University of San Francisco and apply it to the rest of the real world. It is my attempt now to "combine" photography and nursing as many people have suggested who know I am conflicted with nursing and photography as a job/career.

This first post is entitled:

Time Keeper

At 2000 (8:00pm) I'll need to give a drug. Every hour I'll need to check another patient's PCA [patient controlled analgesia] machine. By 2200 (10:00pm) I'll need to call the doctor to report my vital signs for a patient. And oh, I've still got until 0700 (7:00am) until I'm out of here.

First off, get a watch. I don't care if you use your phone as your main time keeper. You still need to reach into your pocket or your hip to look at time when simply a flick of your wrist you'll have the time. I don't care if you invest in a timeless piece (pun intended) or a cheap plastic watch. Look cool with one or not. Two, look at it more often.

You ever been late to a meeting? You ever forgot about that lunch you were suppose to have with a friend? Or how about, do you not know what time it is right now? I can say it would be simple to just have a watch and it will solve everything but at least that's one part to the equation.

You still need to be organized, efficient, and oh, be able to manage time effectively in the real world.

For nursing, time is always against you (some may argue with you). You have to do this, do that, more of that, maybe that if I could, all within a time frame--either an 8 hour shift or a 12 hour shift. You receive report from the previous shift's nurse, decide then what's needed to do, attend to the patient's medications and tasks, and finally report all what you did for the next shift's nurse. You can either be rushing to get this all done (worst part since you don't got a break) or relaxing too much (worst part since you could be doing something for the patient).

What I've learned since Fall 2005 [when I begun nursing] is to be organized and efficient with my time. But that's such a plain and simple concept that we've all learned from the beginning right? Well, fast forward today, it's not just how you are organized and efficient but also how you are able to prioritize things.

Who will you see first? A patient with an oxygen saturation of 92% or a febrile patient with a temperature of 38.2 degrees Celsius?

What will you do first in the morning? Afternoon? Your next meeting? Your anniversary? Etc. What you choose to do/accomplish first is important. To set priority correctly is to begin everything correctly.

And the obvious by the way? Keep time of birthdays, anniversaries, and any other special occasions. Always. Never forget to greet anyone close to you. No excuse from here on. And oh, no more email/electronic wishes. Call them. You have a cell phone with enough minutes to spare them a 5 minute phone call.

How to be a "Time Keeper"

To be a "Time Keeper" is knowing where you are in the day, what you've accomplished, what you still need to accomplish, and begin to think what you need to do for tomorrow, Sunday, and next week.

To be a "Time Keeper" is to effectively use a calendar--a planner, your phone, etc--to keep track of assignments, birthdays, events, etc.

With the accessibility of today's technology (cell phones, Google Calendar, Outlook, iCal, etc) there's no excuse as to why you aren't using a calendar. I personally use a Moleskine Day Planner and Google Calendar.

The importance of being a "Time Keeper" is keeping check in your progress of what you've accomplished and what you didn't. I started keeping a Moleskine Day Planner since last year and I can tell you exactly what I did November 03, 2008 (which I just looked up: went to Starbucks with my cousin and later saw our friend Dar to discuss a photoshoot for Kidheroes.net product line while missing my shipment of my Alien Bees lights).

To be a "Time Keeper" is to remember what you've done, what you're doing, and what you're going to be doing.

And oh, to know what time it is with that watch of yours..

--
WILIN "What I've Learned in Nursing" is a new blog reel that takes bits and pieces from what I've learned as a nursing student at University of San Francisco (c/o Fall 2009) and apply it to the rest of the real world. It is my attempt now to "combine" photography and nursing as many people have suggested who know I am conflicted with nursing and photography as a job/career.